Okay, enough is enough...the respite is over...I'm moving on...I need to get back on the blogging wagon...even if it makes me feel awkward or transparent...that's the point, duh! And lately I've been letting fear rule my world---NOT COOL!
So, here's a little uncomfortable honesty:
Hi, my name is Tara, and today I'd like to deal with vulnerability and uncertainty with 3 bottles of wine, 2 big bags of chips, and 7 hours on facebook.
But instead I ran 8km, did an hour of weights, and hung out with a really great friend!:)
So, I'm going to ease back into the writing through a few lists;
10 THINGS I KNOW TO BE TRUE
1. I'm in love. Head over HEAL...ing. It wasn't easy, I worked hard at staying present with my pain and loss...and this new love came easy...and it is one of total acceptance...I have never felt so passionate, care-free, and consumed.
2. I'm curious about why restaurants, bars, and cafes feel the need to make the gender symbols/pictures on the washroom doors so confusing. On my first date with the above-mentioned love, I managed to decipher the signs by following another woman through the correct doorway. My bad....it was a 'one-er'. Awkward. Okay...backing away...awkwardly back through the gender-neutral doorway...
3. I am certain that I will never own or have need for a chip-clip or a wine-stopper...oxymoron, if you ask me!
4. I'm running a half marathon on October 16th...and this scares me for a couple of reasons:
A) Because I'm already in serious pain at 8km...and the 2 people that I am running with (my lover and my sister-in-law) are both athletes...which is intimidating and sometimes humiliating...(I breath A LOT louder than them!!!)
B) I teach Dance and Drama, and if I mess up my body parts...I mess up my life. INTENSE!, I know....
5. Summer is almost over. And that's okay. Don't hate me, but this has been the best summer that I can remember in a very long time. My time was spent well. Summer-Love, Music Festivals, Theatre Festivals, Cottage-ing, Swimming, Hot-tubbing, Fire-loving, Catching up with friends & Family, Learning new things, Watching Lacrosse, Road Trips, Watching Football, Making meals with my lover, Accepting change, Writing, Reading, Laughing, Loving...
6. I am fiercely loyal. Seasons and reasons and ebbing and flowing...sure. But, I am always here. I won't give up.
7. I am sentimental and proud of it.
8. I love poetry, wine, food, connection, knowledge, family, friends, laughing, collective ecstasy, songs that make me moan with understanding--appreciation --and 'yeah I get that' or 'what an awesome way to spin that sentiment', poetry slams & spoken word artists, self-improvement and awareness, stories, words, autumn, wearing my lover's clothes, slow dancing, eating clean, the smell of campfire, the mesh of glam and trash (like poutine and champagne), mixed tapes and the mix-makers, and last but so so so not least, I love LOVE. I'm a Love-Bomber!
9. I'm working on learning how to stop living with anxiety, because I know that it is extremely contagious. And I don't want to infect the people I love with more anxiety. Instead, I want to heal myself and others with a calming stillness. Stillness is not about focusing on nothingness, it's about creating a clearing. It's about opening up an emotionally free space and allowing ourselves to feel and think and question.
10. I'm feeling better.
Peace, Love & Owning It!!!
xoT.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Monday, December 20, 2010
Tara-transformers
In honour of the Winter Solstice and Lunar eclipse overlap that hasn't occurred for 456 years, I thought I would blog...which also hasn't happened for 456 years...:)
The Winter Solstice is a time of rebirth and renewal. There is a transformation from darkness into light because astrologically, it's a time where the light comes back. The idea of darkness into light suggests that when things seem really bleak, it is often our biggest opportunity for personal transformation.
The past year has provided me with a multitude of transformer-type experiences. Here is what I have learned...
When something goes wrong, take a step back, agree to just let whatever happens happen and try to find something positive about the turn of events (((((I don't control what happens, but I decide how I react and what kind of person I am)))))
To be open to all experience without labelling it good or bad (((((Taking time to meditate helps me to practice being in the moment)))))
Music. It is a natural high. (((((It expresses beliefs, emotions, and attitudes that words can't convey)))))
Face to face time with loved ones is necessary. (((((LOVE*BELONGING*CONNECTION)))))
Do good. (((((Always strive to be my best possible self)))))
Nature. (((((Being in natural surroundings gives me a sense of wonder. It makes me feel relaxed, vital, and energetic)))))
It isn't always about me. (((((I need to stop taking things so personal)))))
Peace, Love and Happy Soul-stice.
xoT.
The Winter Solstice is a time of rebirth and renewal. There is a transformation from darkness into light because astrologically, it's a time where the light comes back. The idea of darkness into light suggests that when things seem really bleak, it is often our biggest opportunity for personal transformation.
The past year has provided me with a multitude of transformer-type experiences. Here is what I have learned...
When something goes wrong, take a step back, agree to just let whatever happens happen and try to find something positive about the turn of events (((((I don't control what happens, but I decide how I react and what kind of person I am)))))
To be open to all experience without labelling it good or bad (((((Taking time to meditate helps me to practice being in the moment)))))
Music. It is a natural high. (((((It expresses beliefs, emotions, and attitudes that words can't convey)))))
Face to face time with loved ones is necessary. (((((LOVE*BELONGING*CONNECTION)))))
Do good. (((((Always strive to be my best possible self)))))
Nature. (((((Being in natural surroundings gives me a sense of wonder. It makes me feel relaxed, vital, and energetic)))))
It isn't always about me. (((((I need to stop taking things so personal)))))
Peace, Love and Happy Soul-stice.
xoT.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
NEW MOON INTENTIONS
I want to live a more balanced life. I want to be more patient. I want to navigate moderation. I want to love deeper. I want to speak sweeter. I want to spend more time with the people I love. I want to listen better. I want to learn more about the world. I want to strengthen and tone my body. I want to have a healthy relationship with food. I want to discover ways of handling stress and anxiety. I want to be present in my life. I want to be present with the people who surround me. Really present. I want to live in the present moment. I want to welcome change. I want to be open. I want to inspire others. I want to get to know more people. I want to accept my flaws. I want to be more honest with myself. I want to use my creativity in a way that I never have before.
Peace, Love and Great Expectations!
xoT.
Peace, Love and Great Expectations!
xoT.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
What You See is What you Get?
I'm not really sure where I was going with that whole YERTLE THE TURTLE post---except maybe to challenge myself not to get caught up in high-rise mentality. People who work and live in tall buildings have spectacular views...however it's hard to really understand what is going on down there/here from way up here/there. The higher you go, the more disconnected you become to your roots. I want to continuously marvel and never assume that I own all that I can see. I crave connection.
Peace, Love and keeping grounded!
xoT.
Peace, Love and keeping grounded!
xoT.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Yertle the Turtle by Dr. Suess
On the far-away island of Sala-ma-Sond,
Yertle the Turtle was king of the pond.
A nice little pond. It was clean. It was neat.
The water was warm. There was plenty to eat.
The turtles had everything turtles might need.
And they were all happy. Quite happy indeed.
They were… until Yertle, the king of them all,
Decided the kingdom he ruled was too small.
“I’m ruler”, said Yertle, “of all that I see.
But I don’t see enough. That’s the trouble with me.
With this stone for a throne, I look down on my pond
But I cannot look down on the places beyond.
This throne that I sit on is too, too low down.
It ought to be higher!” he said with a frown.
“If I could sit high, how much greater I’d be!
What a king! I’d be ruler of all that I see!”
So Yertle the Turtle King, lifted his hand
And Yertle, the Turtle King, gave a command.
He ordered nine turtles to swim to his stone
And, using these turtles, he built a new throne.
He made each turtle stand on another one’s back
And he piled them all up in a nine-turtle stack.
And then Yertle climbed up. He sat down on the pile.
What a wonderful view! He could see ‘most a mile!
“All mine!” Yertle cried. “Oh, the things I now rule!
I’m the king of a cow! And I’m the king of a mule!
I’m the king of a house! And, what’s more, beyond that
I’m the king of a blueberry bush and a cat!
I’m Yertle the Turtle! Oh, marvelous me!
For I am the ruler of all that I see!”
And all through the morning, he sat up there high
Saying over and over, “A great king am I!”
Until ‘long about noon. Then he heard a faint sigh.
“What’s that?” snapped the king,and he looked down the stack.
And he saw, at the bottom, a turtle named Mack.
Just a part of his throne. And this plain little turtle
Looked up and he said, “Beg your pardon, King Yertle.
I’ve pains in my back and my shoulders and knees.
How long must we stand here, Your Majesty, please?”
“SILENCE!” the King of the Turtles barked back.
“I’m king, and you’re only a turtle named Mack.”
“You stay in your place while I sit here and rule.
I’m the king of a cow! And I’m the king of a mule!
I’m the king of a house! And a bush! And a cat!
But that isn’t all. I’ll do better than that!
My throne shall be higher!” his royal voice thundered,
“So pile up more turtles! I want ’bout two hundred!”
“Turtles! More turtles!” he bellowed and brayed.
And the turtles ‘way down in the pond were afraid.
They trembled. They shook. But they came. They obeyed.
From all over the pond, they came swimming by dozens.
Whole families of turtles, with uncles and cousins.
And all of them stepped on the head of poor Mack.
One after another, they climbed up the stack.
Then Yertle the Turtle was perched up so high,
He could see forty miles from his throne in the sky!
“Hooray!” shouted Yertle. “I’m the king of the trees!
I’m king of the birds! And I’m king of the bees!
I’m king of the butterflies! King of the air!
Ah, me! What a throne! What a wonderful chair!
I’m Yertle the Turtle! Oh, marvelous me!
For I am the ruler of all that I see!”
Then again, from below, in the great heavy stack,
Came a groan from that plain little turtle named Mack.
“Your Majesty, please… I don’t like to complain,
But down here below, we are feeling great pain.
I know, up on top you are seeing great sights,
But down here at the bottom we, too, should have rights.
We turtles can’t stand it. Our shells will all crack!
Besides, we need food. We are starving!” groaned Mack.
“You hush up your mouth!” howled the mighty King Yertle.
“You’ve no right to talk to the world’s highest turtle.
I rule from the clouds! Over land! Over sea!
There’s nothing, no, NOTHING, that’s higher than me!”
But, while he was shouting, he saw with surprise
That the moon of the evening was starting to rise
Up over his head in the darkening skies.
“What’s THAT?” snorted Yertle. “Say, what IS that thing
That dares to be higher than Yertle the King?
I shall not allow it! I’ll go higher still!
I’ll build my throne higher! I can and I will!
I’ll call some more turtles. I’ll stack ‘em to heaven!
I need ’bout five thousand, six hundred and seven!”
But, as Yertle, the Turtle King, lifted his hand
And started to order and give the command,
That plain little turtle below in the stack,
That plain little turtle whose name was just Mack,
Decided he’d taken enough. And he had.
And that plain little lad got a bit mad.
And that plain little Mack did a plain little thing.
He burped!
And his burp shook the throne of the king!
And Yertle the Turtle, the king of the trees,
The king of the air and the birds and the bees,
The king of a house and a cow and a mule…
Well, that was the end of the Turtle King’s rule!
For Yertle, the King of all Sala-ma-Sond,
Fell off his high throne and fell Plunk! in the pond!
And today the great Yertle, that Marvelous he,
Is King of the Mud. That is all he can see.
And the turtles, of course… all the turtles are free
As turtles and, maybe, all creatures should be.
by Dr. Seuss
Peace, Love and HECK YES I WILL ADD A PERSONAL NARRATIVE TO COMPLIMENT THIS PIECE...
xoT.
Yertle the Turtle was king of the pond.
A nice little pond. It was clean. It was neat.
The water was warm. There was plenty to eat.
The turtles had everything turtles might need.
And they were all happy. Quite happy indeed.
They were… until Yertle, the king of them all,
Decided the kingdom he ruled was too small.
“I’m ruler”, said Yertle, “of all that I see.
But I don’t see enough. That’s the trouble with me.
With this stone for a throne, I look down on my pond
But I cannot look down on the places beyond.
This throne that I sit on is too, too low down.
It ought to be higher!” he said with a frown.
“If I could sit high, how much greater I’d be!
What a king! I’d be ruler of all that I see!”
So Yertle the Turtle King, lifted his hand
And Yertle, the Turtle King, gave a command.
He ordered nine turtles to swim to his stone
And, using these turtles, he built a new throne.
He made each turtle stand on another one’s back
And he piled them all up in a nine-turtle stack.
And then Yertle climbed up. He sat down on the pile.
What a wonderful view! He could see ‘most a mile!
“All mine!” Yertle cried. “Oh, the things I now rule!
I’m the king of a cow! And I’m the king of a mule!
I’m the king of a house! And, what’s more, beyond that
I’m the king of a blueberry bush and a cat!
I’m Yertle the Turtle! Oh, marvelous me!
For I am the ruler of all that I see!”
And all through the morning, he sat up there high
Saying over and over, “A great king am I!”
Until ‘long about noon. Then he heard a faint sigh.
“What’s that?” snapped the king,and he looked down the stack.
And he saw, at the bottom, a turtle named Mack.
Just a part of his throne. And this plain little turtle
Looked up and he said, “Beg your pardon, King Yertle.
I’ve pains in my back and my shoulders and knees.
How long must we stand here, Your Majesty, please?”
“SILENCE!” the King of the Turtles barked back.
“I’m king, and you’re only a turtle named Mack.”
“You stay in your place while I sit here and rule.
I’m the king of a cow! And I’m the king of a mule!
I’m the king of a house! And a bush! And a cat!
But that isn’t all. I’ll do better than that!
My throne shall be higher!” his royal voice thundered,
“So pile up more turtles! I want ’bout two hundred!”
“Turtles! More turtles!” he bellowed and brayed.
And the turtles ‘way down in the pond were afraid.
They trembled. They shook. But they came. They obeyed.
From all over the pond, they came swimming by dozens.
Whole families of turtles, with uncles and cousins.
And all of them stepped on the head of poor Mack.
One after another, they climbed up the stack.
Then Yertle the Turtle was perched up so high,
He could see forty miles from his throne in the sky!
“Hooray!” shouted Yertle. “I’m the king of the trees!
I’m king of the birds! And I’m king of the bees!
I’m king of the butterflies! King of the air!
Ah, me! What a throne! What a wonderful chair!
I’m Yertle the Turtle! Oh, marvelous me!
For I am the ruler of all that I see!”
Then again, from below, in the great heavy stack,
Came a groan from that plain little turtle named Mack.
“Your Majesty, please… I don’t like to complain,
But down here below, we are feeling great pain.
I know, up on top you are seeing great sights,
But down here at the bottom we, too, should have rights.
We turtles can’t stand it. Our shells will all crack!
Besides, we need food. We are starving!” groaned Mack.
“You hush up your mouth!” howled the mighty King Yertle.
“You’ve no right to talk to the world’s highest turtle.
I rule from the clouds! Over land! Over sea!
There’s nothing, no, NOTHING, that’s higher than me!”
But, while he was shouting, he saw with surprise
That the moon of the evening was starting to rise
Up over his head in the darkening skies.
“What’s THAT?” snorted Yertle. “Say, what IS that thing
That dares to be higher than Yertle the King?
I shall not allow it! I’ll go higher still!
I’ll build my throne higher! I can and I will!
I’ll call some more turtles. I’ll stack ‘em to heaven!
I need ’bout five thousand, six hundred and seven!”
But, as Yertle, the Turtle King, lifted his hand
And started to order and give the command,
That plain little turtle below in the stack,
That plain little turtle whose name was just Mack,
Decided he’d taken enough. And he had.
And that plain little lad got a bit mad.
And that plain little Mack did a plain little thing.
He burped!
And his burp shook the throne of the king!
And Yertle the Turtle, the king of the trees,
The king of the air and the birds and the bees,
The king of a house and a cow and a mule…
Well, that was the end of the Turtle King’s rule!
For Yertle, the King of all Sala-ma-Sond,
Fell off his high throne and fell Plunk! in the pond!
And today the great Yertle, that Marvelous he,
Is King of the Mud. That is all he can see.
And the turtles, of course… all the turtles are free
As turtles and, maybe, all creatures should be.
by Dr. Seuss
Peace, Love and HECK YES I WILL ADD A PERSONAL NARRATIVE TO COMPLIMENT THIS PIECE...
xoT.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
RIGHT???
So, last week I was driving to work in this ridiculous storm, I’m talking, monsoon rains, crazy winds---you know when you’re carrying your umbrella and it’s so windy that your umbrella actually folds itself inside out and you’re like---great, good thing I have this…yeah, well it was that kind of day…where I’m practically making out with my steering wheel because I can’t see through the windshield ---and I come up to this stoplight where I actually see this dude riding his bicycle, holding his umbrella…and I’m like WOW, that’s commitment…we get it, you’re environmentally friendly!
I mean, how can I not hit him right? But I don’t have time to get into an accident---So I roll down my window and toss him a token---and I’m like "Dude, today might be a day for public transit…no one’s gonna judge you! Just sayin'!"
Peace, Love, and it's not easy being GREEN!
xoT.
I mean, how can I not hit him right? But I don’t have time to get into an accident---So I roll down my window and toss him a token---and I’m like "Dude, today might be a day for public transit…no one’s gonna judge you! Just sayin'!"
Peace, Love, and it's not easy being GREEN!
xoT.
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