"When In Asia..."

A fair number of "Asia-Tales" have been requested by my ever-loving 'fans'...And I aim to please...so here are some re-caps of emails home...(for anyone who isn't familiar...my dear friend Christina and I took a 3-week teaching contract in Korea and then spent the rest of our time traveling through Thailand....GOOD TIMES!

#1
So we arrived safe in Korea...but of course not without "drama"...it wouldn't be right if I didn't include drama...my suitcase was too heavy at the airport....so right in front of everyone while holding up the line I had to downsize my luggage....this was tough.....what do I take out????? (Of course the freaking huge board game and the materials I brought for the kids----NOT my clothes....what were you thinking???)

Anyways---the flight was long...but that was expected...the "5 star hotel" promise turned into dorm rooms---without bedding....you can't flush the toilet paper...so if I had any bathroom insecurities---they just got worse! The scenery is beautiful --- however it has been pouring buckets ever since we got here...I don't have a Korean teacher partner yet because there weren't enough...apparently they are getting us some more-- so cheers to that! But not to fear---I am sooooooo HAPPY to be here that nothing can bring me down---what an experience!---and all the other teachers are really great! We have been having a lot of bonding time in our free time...which we spend in our rooms---because of the monsoon rains----but whatever---we have had some good laughs and I am anxious to start teaching on Monday---

#2
So I just finished writing this detailed email of all my news...and then I went to send it and I lost it...you KNOW how crazy that can make a person right? I mean, you KNOW right? Like how frustrated I am right now...but I am over it----like that is the least of my worries, right?

So ---we are working 15 hour days...not kidding...it has finally stopped raining but an umbrella is still my fashion staple...and we have rice, spicy cabbage and mystery meat for all three meals---some of the teachers here are STARVING---but not Tara Duffy ---no siree---this little lady will eat anything! (Here, give it to Tara---she'll eat it...) So obviously I haven't started my "survivor" diet that I bragged about... (but yeah, some of the teachers are freaking hungry and they are NOT very happy...) We have to get up at 5am and have to be on the bus shortly after 6am...and then we drive about 45 minutes to EVERLAND (which is much like Canada's Wonderland). We don't get picked up again until 10pm and then we drive back to the dorm to rest out weary heads...so I'm flexible right???? Like----WHAT'S WITH ALL THE FREAKING WORK??? This IS my summer vacation right? Seriously I am fine...I can get used to ANYTHING--but some of the other teachers are really exhausted and NOT HAPPY AT ALL! So Christina and I have opted for laughing hysterically at the craziness of it all...and I mean pee your pants laughing --- and we have met a few like-minded laughers...so we are having a ball!----but seriously folks, I am going to really need that vacation in Thailand!!!!

So I just finished giving the students an oral exam to determine which class they should be in and I am teaching Grade 5 Advanced----so this is GOOD! And I have a Korean Teaching partner now....so this is also GOOD! It is sooooooo beautiful here! ....mountains everywhere...they don't let us have free time anymore...so one night after MUCH negotiation---we were permitted to go into the town---GOOD TIMES! I have to go now because I am being beckoned---seriously we work NON-STOP ---- but I am so happy to be here and am SO enjoying experiencing a new culture...squat toilets and all...

#3
The kids are soooooo CUTE! When I am tired and feeling low---it is tough to be down when you are looking into the adoring eyes of a child. These kids treat us teachers like STARS! When our bus pulls into the lot and they are getting ready to go down for breakfast---they start waving like crazy and yelling:"Teacher! Teacher! Teacher! Hello! Good Morning!" etc. And when we get off the bus they want to touch us and give us high fives and basically any sort of contact --- they LOVE it when we can communicate-----it really is sweet! And being treated like a star totally works for me---right?

It is Friday morning and today is a much needed PLAY DAY! In the morning we are taking them to EVERLAND to go on the rides and then lunch and then ...get this...we take them to CARIBBEAN BAY to go on the water slides and the wave pools etc. ------

okay, so a couple of things:

First of all-- I am thrilled to be getting into a BATHING SUIT!----no other clothes are allowed in the water-park...no t-shirts, no tank-tops, no NOTHING! Just YOU and your SUIT --- AND ---the best part------are you ready for this? ---What could make the swimming suit experience any worse? That's right folks----A BATHING CAP!!! Oh my gosh I am going to be so HOT! But like that's the least of my problems right? I should be over myself after showering every morning with 40 other women in a communal shower with no dividers or curtains (football locker room style!) -----

I'm not gonna lie-----that was a pretty big shocker on Day #1! But now it's like: "Hey what's up over there? Are you getting yourself all clean? Yeah? ME TOO! You wouldn't happen to have an extra bar of soap over there would ya?"

And to top it all off ----we aren't allowed to speak directly to the "man boss". Yeah that gets my feminist side worked up pretty quickly...But if we can't laugh at it all---what can we do?

#4
Tomorrow night is TALENT NIGHT --- and the parents are invited to a huge Korean BBQ and then to watch the show. Chrissy and I have combined our classes and we are doing a fun HIP-HOP dance! The kids LOVE it and they are so AWESOME! And they think they are so cool --- they are all going to wear their camp shirts so they will have a "costume" ---- so after dinner tonight we will be busy busy rehearing for the big show!

We went to Caribbean Bay again---seriously folks---I am really getting used to this BATHING CAP thing---I think I will make it a fashion staple back on the beaches of CANADA! NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#5
I have compiled a TOP TEN list of all the great things about taking this job:

10. I'm in Asia---how cool is that?
9. It is so green here even though it never rains---well except for that week that it didn't stop...
8. The children are so polite here. Sharing is not a problem for these kids, it's a way of life.
7. The landscape is beautiful, and although it seems as though I am ALWAYS climbing hills or stairs ( this country loves their stairs and NOT the ones that move on their own...) my legs are getting super toned!
6. The people aren't afraid to express their JOY! (clapping hands while listening to music, boys walking arm in arm, even men----they are very affectionate towards one another...and that is sooooo refreshing to see...there is hope! Very touch-feely...the girls and women too!
5. I have learned to have a greater appreciation for red hair and freckles---they are quite a novelty here.
4. I have massive cravings for salad and vegetables---it's all about starch and deep fried whatchamacallits???----so that's a good thing---right?
3. After ample time reflecting on the squat toilets - I have learned that they are actually more sanitary than western toilets....NO TOUCHING!!!
2. I have made some really great friends that I know I will stay in touch with--- I mean after "SHOWER-SHACKIN'" who can blame us?

1. What doesn't kill us ---makes us stronger ---right?

#6
I have seen and done soooo much! Bangkok (which is a totally fun word to say!) was cool! Chang Mai has been incredible and today we fly to Phuket to do some serious slothin'!

Probably the most eye-opening experience was the 5 hour drive into the mountains to see the hills tribes...an experience that I will never forget---seriously folks---I HAVE NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT!

The most amazing treat is the TRADITIONAL THAI MASSAGE! It is 2 hours long -- full body ---up close and personal --- like seriously folks I have lost ALL INHIBITIONS here!!! And the best part---it cost 5 buckeroonies!---AS IF???? SO every night I get some sort of massage! I like it! I like it A LOT!!!

Elephant rides through the jungle --- river rafting --- night markets --- so CHEAP!

The bathrooms however have been a challenge for me...I thought the Korean way was something to be reckoned with...NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Here --- you have to step up onto the toilet (without seat) and you are standing on it---and then you have to maintain your balance on this slippery toilet bowl--- you have to maintain endurance (squatting and balancing is HARD work!) with your toilet paper in pocket (assuming you KNEW how much you were going to need before going in...B.Y.O.T.P. --- GOOD TIMES!!!) You now need to undo your pants and squat --- don't forget to relax so you can do what you came in there to do---#1 only! Never #2 - (this might give you more insight into my state of health...) and FINALLY I realize - yay! I'm doing it!!! I am actually peeing! Yay for me! This has been no small feat! --- because up until this moment I had been avoiding all pee opportunities upon the pure fact that I just couldn't do it --- physically -- my knees wouldn't allow me to hold the position --- but this was a MUST -- my bladder was going into OVERDRIVE --- so like --- HURRAY for me! I did it! I get back into the vehicle feeling pretty darn smug! I get out a wet nap to wash my hands and look down to see that I had peed all over my legs and pants-----GOOD TIMES!!!

#7
Guess what??? Did you know that when a bird poops on you that it's good luck? Wanna know why I learned that little nugget of (truth?) Here are the "Lucky Details" in order of appearance:

First off -- on my flight into Thailand, I had suitcase issues again, and they made me pay $60.00 to take it from me---apparently it makes it easier for the people lifting...but I was more than happy to pay instead of rummaging through my bag trying desperately to decide which items to discard while my under garments spill into the line-ups of busy rushing people who are not amused by my packing abilities or lack of...but none the less it was a little embarrassing standing in the EXCESSIVE BAGGAGE line-up----I mean who needs labels? I am trying to get along in this world---no name calling please!

But, I am off on an adventure and nothing can get me down...well except the ledge on the floor separating our hotel room from the bathroom. I think I tripped from all the pent up expectation of what a western toilet could deliver.....and I fell flat on my face and REALLY REALLY hurt myself. Christina was laughing so hard that I couldn't cop a cry even though I really wanted too (you know when you are caught between a massive cry and a massive laugh...and in my case a massive bladder?) -- I lived...

So-- I B-line it to the beach---cause this is what I have been waiting for right? And the red flag is up....WHAT??????????? WHAT THE HECK DOES THE RED FLAG MEAN??????? It means you can't swim because the undertow is too dangerous! As you all know I am equal parts curious and insane---I wasn't gonna let that red flag stand in my way! So, out I went and I am standing in what can only be described as "knee-deep" (I don't have a death-wish!) when all of a sudden this mother-load of a wave knocks me down and that nasty under-tow is doing his thang --- and NOW I'm in panic mode right? Like -- I KNOW I'm going to DIE! WHAT WAS I THINKING? My heart is slamming---and there is on one else on the beach ---because apparently the RED FLAG MEANS SOMETHING TO THEM...I am trying desperately to scramble to my feet, all the while the under-tow is dragging my bum along the floor of the ANDEMAN SEA (a demon sea?)---and then somehow---(GOD?) I manage to get on my feet, dashing for the shore (much like how they do it on BAYWATCH!!!)---and my left bum is bleeding bloody horror---but I don't care, right? Like, I'm alive, right?

Later that night with salve on bum , we head out for a really nice dinner --- which later kept me occupied in the washroom all night long---GOOD TIMES!!!

So the next morning we decide to claim our spots on loungers by the pools (enough beach drama already!) So I get all SPF-ed up, I got on my do-rag and sunnies...and I am finally entering "relaxation" mode when out of no where I hear SPLAT! and then I feel this warm gooey feeling on my leg---WHAT THE? WHAT????? WHO PUT THAT THERE??? But it's good luck right? And I am about due for some good ol' fashion GOOD LUCK --- but my standards are so low right now that I am not even fazed by it---I just casually walk past all the pool-lovers as though I DON'T have CRAP on my leg and wash it off in the poolside shower...

I've come a long way baby to get to where I am!

Peace, Love and LONGEST BLOG EVER (I found her!!!)
xoT.