Meet ASS-MAN!

I'm an ASS man!
No---I'm not an ass---I'm an ass MAN--- you know?
I like the junk in your trunk----your badunkadunk! Mmmm. Boo-yah!
Here's the D.L. - when I see a fine lookin' Betty swingin' her onion --- I be trippin and cupcakin' yo ---Dee-ZAM! I'm like hold up!!! HOLLA! Yo! I gotta axe you something --- Why don't you come over here and gimme some a dat candy girl?
Oh SNAP!!! so that's the dilio --- you be 06in --- well I'm down with that - Fo SHEEZY!!!
How bout you and your B come back to my crib so you both can show me a little sumpin sumpin...oooooh you was frontin---well das coo --- cause she's all BOOTYDOO anyhow - Fo REAL!!!!! A-aight! Well don't get all up in my grill ---Be easy---what you trippin for? I didn't say you was fugly!---Fo rizzle! If ya ain't gonna let me hit it---then I'll roll---
Peace out!

So I'm back at my crib and me and my boo were just choppin it up and chillin'...you know---keepin' it real -- but then my squad shows up and theys fienden to shoot some hoops right? But my girl---she's fienden for something else--you feel me?
So my G says -- Stop parlaying over there and let's bounce brother---
And I'm like - For shiggidy my weeble!---and oooweee-- my girl was trippin' -- I was like---somebody needs to turn on the heat cause it is BRICK in here! ---- Later doll! ---
so I throw on my biscuits ---kiss my little hoochie goodbye--and she loves me so she lets me off the hizzle---But when I get to the court---I hook up with some dip-sets -- so I bail on my homies and get bent with these hos ---Oh snap! and we be dancin in the club and they all wantin' me to check up on it---And I am FLOSSIN yo! mmmmm butta ---
But then they all like punkin my moves ---I'm like girlys -- You perpetrating! - I own that move---Don't make me school you!
I thought you was slammin --- but yous is skanchy!!!!Get in that raggedy ride you came in and step off! Then these wanksters start trippin on me and I'm all like - You mad doggin me? I'll whoop you so bad your cousin will cry!!

Man ---my day has been WACK!

Peace, Love and Sketch Character #2 ("Ass-man" is duking it out with "Emo-Porn Star"...she's coming soon to a BLOG near you...)
xoT.