Thursday, May 24, 2007

Random Recollections

I can remember my re-occuring childhood nightmare. (I am running circles around the outside of my house while being chased by an Indian with a head-dress and loin cloth who is being chased by a gorilla. I always end up hiding under the porch and they both know where I am and just as they are about to expose me I wake up sweating, screaming, crying = good times!) I can remember receiving my first mixed tape. (oh Chad...thanks for recording "Is this Love?" by Whitesnake over and over ---both sides!!!) I can remember spending hours with a tape recorder creating voices and characters. (I have a copy of my voice playing the 3 main characters of Punky Brewster, which of course include Punky Brewster, Henry - the foster father, and Brandon - the dog. Yep-- I played the part of a dog.) I can remember when it was a special treat to RENT a VCR! (My brother and I could each pick out a movie and I would without a doubt every single time choose "Fire Starter" starring Drew Barrymore----'creature of habit' or 'first crush'?) I can remember the first dance I choreographed and taught to my friends. (Grade 5 - Footloose! Who knew I would re-visit this theme years later???) I can remember my mother laying out my clothes each day for school. (On Saturdays I could pick out my own clothes----bring on the pink pants with the elastic waist and cord-crease down the legs and a bright red T-shirt with Coca-Cola on the front and TARA on the back! RIGHT ON!!!!!!!) I can remember my first french kiss. (Grade 9 - Halloween Party - Spin the Bottle!) I can remember the year that McDonalds tried out a delivery service. (That's like a BOOTY CALL for a drunk & hungry University student...BAD IDEA!!!) I can remember entertaining my Aunt Erin and her boyfriend by reciting/singing all the words to "Darling Nikki" by Prince when I was 11 years old. (This just goes to show you that parents can't protect you....I wasn't even allowed to listen to the radio, but the girl that sat next to me in my grade 6 class LOVED Prince and I made her teach me all the words-----I didn't even know who Prince was or what masterbating even meant..."I knew a girl named Nikki , I guess you could say she was a sex fiend. I met her in a hotel lobby masturbating with a magazine. She said 'how'd you like to waste some time?' And I could not resist when I saw little Nikki grind."--- what kind of lyrics are those for any grade 6 to be singing aloud???) I can remember Ken, the 25 year old in my grade 11 Drama class. (I thought he was sooooooo cool! He lent me his car the day that I wanted to skip school with my friends...that's pretty trusting...I wonder what he's doing now...) I can remember how excited I was the day I got my water-bed. (I also remember cranking the dial in the winter until my skin burned and dialing down in the summer only to awake with frozen bones----and last but not least, I certainly remember the first time I got the spins in that bed----sort of like white water rafting when you're hung-over----NOT FUN!!!) I can remember ice-skating with my family every other Saturday night. (Sore ankles --but plenty of yummy hot chocolate afterwards---and face it---no matter how cheesy anything with your family 'seemed' --- you were always secretly 'into' that cheesy family night...) I can remember sitting in a parked car when I was 15 on a hot summer day with all the windows rolled up. ('Duh....it's like a sauna---and plus you'll lose weight'...I also remember sleeping with a garbage bag wrapped tightly around my waist, wearing way too many sweats for bed and a weight that rested on my belly just in case I could get an abdominal workout in my sleep----I look back at pictures from those days and lust after my own body----I do NOT see the fat that I was convinced I owned!) I can remember all of my teacher's names and the exact impressions that they left on me. (But one in particular stands out--- my grade 4 teacher ---she looked like Linda Carter A.K.A. WONDER-WOMAN ---- and I would endlessly fantasize about how I would save her from a big hairy monster that would come crashing through our classroom door----and how she would love me the best for saving her...I love that at the ripe old age of 9, I was a knight in shining armor---if only in my mind's eye...)I can remember my first summer camp romance. (A 9 year old display of affection: He let me wear his wrist bands and Pac-Man watch!!!) I can remember forcing my high-school boyfriend to learn and perform the choreography to "If It Isn't Love" by New Edition. (He was pretty shy and mostly known as an athlete----so to add to his credits: He also performed with me in the Sears Drama Festival, The Lip-Sync Contest and School Assembly skits...he was a good sport!!!) I can remember the first time that I peed my pants. (At Camp -- in the Mess Hall---during lunch---laughing so hard it flooded from my chair and ran down to the floor and continued down the length of the table!!! Yep---true story! Little did I know that this would also be a re-occurring theme throughout my life...) I remember collecting pretty stones from the beach. (Was anyone else disappointed with the sparkle quality after they dried off?) I can remember when I ran 10km everyday. (A time of great head-space...I should get back into that...) I can remember when my bedtime was 8:30pm - a whole half hour AFTER my brother! (In the summer, the sun was still shining brightly into my bedroom window and I could hear the sounds of the local baseball diamond in the near distance..."EVERYONE ELSE IS STILL UP----WHY DO I HAVE TO GO TO BED???) I can remember going to the car races on Sunday nights with my dad. (The snack hut was a highlight for sure!) I can remember loving the Tuesday night TV line-up. (Did anyone else want to BE Sam from "Who's the Boss" and date Mike from "Growing Pains"???) I can remember the first time that someone gave me the key to their place. (Big Step - - - I collect keys...) I can remember a 'stalker-ex' sleeping outside of my house for 3 days. (Persistence DOES pay off!---I wonder what he's doing now?...) I can remember when the word "sick" meant something really gross. (FYI -- now it means AWESOME!) I can remember when I knew how to play 5 songs on my guitar. (I used to make my classes listen to me----ahh the power of a teacher----"The answer my friend *change hand position - awkward pause* is blowin' in the wind *change hand position - awkward pause*the answer is blowin' in the wind...") I can remember naming every single one of my dolls "Jessica". ('creature of habit' or 'first crush'?)

Peace, Love and Laughing all the way to the memory Bank!
xoT.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

CRAVE

I am craving you and a long hot evening swim and a good old fashioned camp song and a self-made smore and a challenging mountain climb and a road trip and a much anticipated gas station bathroom break and a pleasant surprise and a motorcycle ride and a trashy scene that I am somehow a part of and a plate of nachos to share with someone I love and a full body massage and a healthy routine or two and a bear hug and a deep conversation with someone I admire and an epiphany and a muse and a burst of energy and an inspiring dream and a harmless secret and some satisfaction and a hardy laugh and some direction and a sweaty activity and applause and a blast from the past and a premonition and a heart-felt compliment and a magical moment and a nap in a hammock and my youth and my glass that used to always be half full and timelessness and a thought-provoking play penned by yours truly and a private dancer and a competition and a partner in crime to co-create a thrill-seeking adventure and a hang-over free drunk-fest and a wagon ride on the straight and narrow path and a piggy-back ride on the wild side and a summer-time song and a silly care-free day and connection and some motivation and a great read and an intriguing invitation and an "oh my gosh, ME TOO!!" moment with someone new and an "I forgive you" from the past and a new scene and a piece of gum and killer confidence and passionate expression that only an 80's pop band could articulate and a reason to wear a costume and a day pass and a personal success story and an 'in' with the Hell's Angels and a prank that keeps me giggling well into the next month and a really great therapist...

Peace, Love and I ain't too proud to beg!
xoT.

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

East Coast Love

I have just returned from the east coast----and I must say LOVELY...

ESCAPE: when you are able to slip away from your everyday life and partake in an extraordinary one...

HOME SWEET HOME: when you return ---it is just as you left it---bed made; dishes washed; lights off; windows shut and locked; etc.; ---and you feel disappointed somehow----like you were almost hoping things were different...more messy; more lived in; more open---more more more...

WAKE-UP CALL: when you don't think you can do it on your own...

COURAGE: "Fill my cup up, let it overflow----let it overflow with LOVE..."

NONSENSE: reading between the lines...

ME: un- (fill-in-the-blanks...)

DIRECTION: NEWS

FLASH: back?

BABE: honey, sweetie, lover...

END: Tara Duffy TAKE 2!

Peace, Love and being special (:)
xoT.